the pastors wife plague

9 02 2009

tatSometimes it’s difficult to find good girlfriends as a pastors wife.  I mean real, down-to-earth girls who get you, and understand you.  Sometimes you wonder if people just want to be your friend to get in the “know” of what’s going on at the church, or they don’t want to be your friend because you’re so “holy”.  Oh goodness, I’m far from holy! I think the closest I get are the holes in my jeans.  It’s like we have a plague or something sometimes!

I’m so thankful for my friend Wendy.  She has been one of the greatest mentors and friends to me.  I’m thankful for her experience in the ministry as a Pastor’s Wife and how I know I can always be transparent with her and she completely gets me and understands.  I’m still learning this Pastor’s Wife role.  Not always the easiest, especially in our first church change and starting all over.

If you’re a pastor’s wife or work in the ministry, do you ever struggle with this?

If you aren’t, is it difficult for you to be friends with Pastors Wives? Come on, be honest!!

kk


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12 responses

9 02 2009
Gina Fuller

I’m not a pastor’s wife but would love to be friends with mine and any other but they always seem to have their own circle of friends. I do invite them to things when I can but they normally can’t come because of prior commitments and such. The nice thing about our church, though, KK, is that we all can be transparent with each other and don’t expect anyone to be any holier than anyone else!

9 02 2009
Shelly McCain

I have always struggled with this. Purcell was one of the neatest places for us, because we were allowed to have friends… the people just accepted us into their circles and allowed us to be ourselves… which is a reason that those people will ALWAYS hold a special place in our hearts! Just pray that God would give you discernment to find those you can be yourself around, and always keep those girlfriends in your life, no matter how near or far away, who will allow you to just be KK! I’m having a hard time right now, in that same area! Some is that we are in a completely new place, and relationships take a while to build! I am trusting that He will provide those valuable friendships! I will pray for you, and you can pray for me in the same area! You are so precious, and you guys are going to be great!

9 02 2009
Shelly McCain

I’m thinking of going for that tatoo! That says it all! :o)

10 02 2009
Dad(other one)

Did Brook take that pic?

10 02 2009
Julie Kelly

Wow, of course I have struggled in that area! When we were at Union Hill in Purcell, I found it very difficult to have friends that I could be real with. I always felt like there was a standard that I could never meet and that I was looked at as very different because I was a minister’s wife. Also, because most of the activities that we did were with youth, we missed out on a lot of adult activities. We were never invited to do things with other couples because everyone always assumed that we were “too busy.” While they were not my age, I am certainly grateful that God put Debbie Rummage and Jeri Segard in my life at that time. They were more than my friends, they were my mentors. They were the women who I complained to and who I cried with. They loved me and encouraged me and I know that God put them in my life to help me be a better minister’s wife! I am so thankful for them! The church where we now serve in ministry has a lot of couples our age and at the same place in life. Most of my friends have moved here because of jobs instead of growing up here. Because most of us live away from our families, we have become each others family! I have a group of five women that I can be completely honest with. They love me in spite of my faults and they are a great source of encouragement to me. While in Purcell, I prayed and begged God for a close friend my age with whom I could be my real self. While He didn’t answer that prayer the 7 years we were in Purcell, he answered it after we moved here. I can definitely tell you, His timing is perfect! These group of girls were definitely worth the wait. I know that even if we ever move in ministry again, these girls will be my lifelong friends!

10 02 2009
triplatte

ok…now you’re making me cry. stop that!!! it’s bad enough that you’re so far away. i am very thankful for you too…totally feel this blog! i love you and i think california is done with you guys. i read it in a pastor’s wives’ tabloid somewhere!!! LOL!!! =]

10 02 2009
triplatte

…and brook’s dad’s comment cracked me up!

10 02 2009
triplatte

AND…i’m stealing that graphic to put on my facebook page!!! LOL!!!

20 02 2009
Gloria

I have some really great friends within our church but the truth is they will never ‘really get me’. They can not relate to the pressures of ministry, the demands of ministry, and certainly I am not able to discuss painful issues within the church. Yet they are great friends. It is indeed a challenge that pastor’s wives face.
On a side note if I wasn’t allergic to pain, that would be a great tatoo!!

10 03 2009
CeCe Garrett

It can be so hard. We have been at this church for 9 months now? I think. New state. New everything. And I have some great pals.. you know.. they maybe know 1/3 of me. But, as far as friends go? nah. When I need to cry, laugh or just be really real? I blog or call my best friend in New Orleans.

29 12 2010
rhondaburke

says another pw… a very hearty – AMEN!!!

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